Sometimes Helping Can Hurt So Much

As one of the few people with a history of LGBT rights activism in Kenya working in the mainstream employment, I often feel some weight in helping more of “us” join ‘the mainstream’. Not because activism is bad or deficient in any way, but rather because this too is a form of activism. 

Demonstrating competence within the mainstream confirms and generates evidence for the arguments the activists make for equal rights.

That is why when a young person told me he was in college asked for a place to stay as he pursues his education, I was more than happy to offer some work, so that he can pay his way through. As it turns out, that may or may not have been true. The details of the case are not important, though as one can imagine, the hurt of being lied - and cheated on many occasions, to cuts deep. What is even more painful is giving up on the dream of having more of “us” with skills and competence in their areas of professional development.

Of course there are a lot more “us” working “quietly” in the mainstream.  There no people to be most admired than those who work to make the lives of others better. I would like to be counted among them.

There is this one friend, who has a thing for keeping tombstone epitaphs – I should ask him whether  the line  - “here lies a man who loved to help others” is used a lot, because it’s one that I want to have on mine. But that is jumping the gun – we all hope to live longer than we should, don’t we?

But how do we help without being taken advantage of and without hurting ourselves? Is there a way to reform the bad apples amongst us? How can one tell the difference between genuine cases where your intervention can actually make a difference and the lost cases? How?

I truly do not know the answers to these questions. For now all I can say if you are a student – tertiary level, (possibly on part-time basis), I have a job offer for you – I need a P.A. While this job offers a modest (very modest) income, the real gift will be in mentor-ship.