Live From KICC Amphitheater

Today I will try real time blogging  by writing about Kenya AIDS Strategic Framework  launch as it happens. Sure this is  what microblogging sites like twitter are for but still  it does not hurt to try something  new. The KASF  for the first  time acknowledges what many activists have been saying for a long time with regards to discrimination,  stigma and criminalization. In fact  one of the most unique things about this KASF  is the chapter on human rights. It also says the government should decriminalise activities  related to key populations - still playing  safe with ambiguous language. One cannot  help but wonder where we would be as a country if we had done that in 2005 - the first  time  I recall us urging for such action.

As I look now the NACC director speaking  to archbishop  Nzimbi I cannot help but wonder on the role of the church in the spread of HIV in this country. True the church plays an important part  in provision of ARMS thanks to the mission  hospitals but can they play a better role in prevention of new infections?  Can they play a better role in eliminating HIV related stigma and discrimination? You be the judge.

Another observation about this launch is the exclusion of people living with disabilities. True the KICC amphitheater  is not designed for people with special mobility needs - which speaks volumes of how our government treats minorities. So may be sexual minorities should just accept their exclusion and colonial inspired criminalization - and move on.

Listening  to Saddique  Shaban  formerly of KTN  affirms those who are using whatever platforms they have to make a change. He asks,  did I loose an opportunity to use the media platform to challenge stigma and discrimination? ... I know many people with capacity  to make a difference and change but for whatever reason opt not to do it.  Saddique longs for the platform he had to make a difference and I hope given his new found courage he can get it back. What about you?  Will you look back at the privileged position/resources you once had and regret that you never used it? 

Success in Life

Getting grey hair comes with its own package of expectations. One of the few I have yet to adjust has to do with women. I guess (and your opinion is most welcome), women find grey hair attractive; because I cannot understand why an increasing number are hitting on me these days – which, while flattering can be slightly uncomfortable.   

Another aspect of greying is a saddening realization of how few role models we have in the society today. Comparing the eulogies of the Late Senator Otieno Kajwang vis-à-vis Prof Wangari Mathai this deficit hits home most sombrely. 

Also in the recent spate of undressing “indecently” dressed women (while we do nothing about men who pee by the roadside), one realizes how serious the women rights movement today lacks an inspiring leader(s). To be sure laws and policies that sought to address gender equality and equity, only codified the perennial Kenyan money-focus problem, rather than address the problems faced by rank-and-file woman in the society.  

I will bet to my last coin that wealth disparities between women have increased with the enactment of the so called pro-women policies. Because of the Kenyan focus on “chai” “ugali” and now “chicken” it was never about gender equity and equality. We may now have a few rich women, but a great majority will only continue to live in squalor and insecurity. Sadly no woman with credibility and gravitas is challenging the statuesque – but this lack of role models is not just limited to the women rights movement. 

The Deputy President Mr. William Ruto, while addressing a gathering in Nairobi asked of Kenyans to be selfless – of course if the comments on the article from the public are anything to go by, many felt he is no position to ask of that – YK’92 being his launching pad into politics. 

For those tempted to look for exemplary role models from the ranks of religious leaders – well we all know that is a money-worshiping crowd. Bishop Rev. Dr. Prof. Kanyari is just the tip of the iceberg. Listening to others one wonders whether religion is only about condemnation, judgment and prosperity [for the priest] – it’s never about his love, kindness and compassion. So unless one is looking from amongst the nuns, it’s very unlikely to find a global role model in the church/mosque. 

It may well be that it’s a generation issue – we are living in a self-focused and wealth-focused generation. It could be even be that the very fact that we are writing about it demonstrates a desire for a different world order. One can only hope that there are people out there who will begin to bring about more humane and socially orientated societal organizing.  I hope we can encourage the young to make a mark in the society, not on the basis of the amount of wealth they are able to accumulate but by how much they contribute to the common good. These are the real heroes to emulate….

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On a different note, I recently bought “The Art of Seduction” – a very interesting book, for a pricey amount – only to realize that the whole book is available online for free….Not sure why its free

This thing called hope

Hope is “feeling that what you want will come to pass or that events will turn out for the best.” Hope is a huge topic of discussion among philosophers who – on the one hand see hope as “no more than a fatal illusion which distorts and colours the sober severity of our lives ” and that “to overcome the obstacles which life sets before us one should have to relinquish hope.”

For other philosophers “hope appears as a beneficent and life-supporting power which enables us to perform feats of which we would otherwise be incapable…and inspires us with courage when sorrow and despair threaten to overcome us.”  Johann Goethe a German writer and statesman says; “Hope [is the] gentle comforter goading us to noble ends."

There can be no denying that hope has a place in our lives. Indeed one dear friend of mine (and I mean dear in the President Kibaki’s use of the word), who lives in a far, far away country, often tells me that “Hope has a place in a lover’s heart” – and these words from Enya’s appropriately named lyrics - are a constant reminder. If you have been in the presence of a seriously sick person, you cannot help but hope, that hope is a real and dynamic force.

Yet we also know the meaning of the phrase “Hope against hope” which essentially means to hope a situation will get better even when all reasonable signs point otherwise. On the basis of hope we postpone taking painful corrective actions ‘with the hope that the situation will resolve itself.’  It could be a health condition – for example you need that tooth pulled out, but you hope the pain will go away or you need that check-up but you still hope somehow things will get better.

Right now I know I need to go to the police to resolve a personal challenge. But I have been waiting and hoping somehow the situation to resolve itself – if you can learn from other people’s experience, then learn from mine, no situation resolves itself – and maybe the pessimists are right: “hope is no more than a fatal illusion which distorts and colours the sober severity of our lives” and that “to overcome the obstacles which life sets before us one should have to relinquish hope.”

One More thing
And since am in this 'hopeless' mood, I might as well say, for those who say "our" criminalization is benign, and it has no real impact on our lives' outcomes - they are dead wrong. This is because, it impacts on so many areas of human interactions - including security. The government has a primary role to play to ensure that individual citizens do not threaten the security of each other - and indeed that is why we have the legal redress mechanisms.

But by criminalizing "us" we are placed at a vulnerable position while attempting to use these legal redress mechanisms. That is why for example an individual woke me up in the middle of the night, well aware that by going to the police, I would have to reveal details - totally irrelevant to the case I would be reporting, of the abuse of my right to peace and security.

So right now, am depressed, angry and frustrated wondering why in dear heavens I got born in this "colonial law" worshiping country. I guess, I have had enough. I would like (as you would too, no doubt), live in a country where there are no structural enablers for criminals. 

I blame my current lack of sleep and "foul mood" to this criminalization. I know when I go to the police I will have to explain why this individual comes to knock at my door and not my neighbors - he is counting on me not going to the police, because  of the difficulties I will have explaining this to the police. He is counting on some rogue police officer using my testimony to further ostracise me. 

I give more to Kenya, than Kenya gives to me - like many other people I deserve better. I guess this is a wake up call to look for a better country - yah, the "East or West Home's Best" does not apply anymore. And so I pray "Dear Universe, hear my humble cry, change my national address; give me a national address that values and respects my humanness, my contribution, my being, me,  for thou art the Universe."

Sometimes Helping Can Hurt So Much

As one of the few people with a history of LGBT rights activism in Kenya working in the mainstream employment, I often feel some weight in helping more of “us” join ‘the mainstream’. Not because activism is bad or deficient in any way, but rather because this too is a form of activism. 

Demonstrating competence within the mainstream confirms and generates evidence for the arguments the activists make for equal rights.

That is why when a young person told me he was in college asked for a place to stay as he pursues his education, I was more than happy to offer some work, so that he can pay his way through. As it turns out, that may or may not have been true. The details of the case are not important, though as one can imagine, the hurt of being lied - and cheated on many occasions, to cuts deep. What is even more painful is giving up on the dream of having more of “us” with skills and competence in their areas of professional development.

Of course there are a lot more “us” working “quietly” in the mainstream.  There no people to be most admired than those who work to make the lives of others better. I would like to be counted among them.

There is this one friend, who has a thing for keeping tombstone epitaphs – I should ask him whether  the line  - “here lies a man who loved to help others” is used a lot, because it’s one that I want to have on mine. But that is jumping the gun – we all hope to live longer than we should, don’t we?

But how do we help without being taken advantage of and without hurting ourselves? Is there a way to reform the bad apples amongst us? How can one tell the difference between genuine cases where your intervention can actually make a difference and the lost cases? How?

I truly do not know the answers to these questions. For now all I can say if you are a student – tertiary level, (possibly on part-time basis), I have a job offer for you – I need a P.A. While this job offers a modest (very modest) income, the real gift will be in mentor-ship.