There is an interesting web-application
known as ‘oldify.’ A friend who has yet to come to terms with the unstoppable progression
of time – and ageing in particular does not like this application. On my part I
like it, because it helps one to come to terms with the inevitability of the
cycles of life.
Many people and gay people in particular
are tempted to want to remain ‘eternally young.’ Yet the only way one can
remain forever young is if they die young.
I have to admit accepting grey hair on my head has been the second
hardest body change I have had to accept. This change has however become easy
with time, as I observe the changing profile of “out” gay and lesbian people in
Kenya – and across the continent in general.
It has now been 10 years since we started
Gay Kenya – now known as Gay Kenya Trust. Many of the founding members are
still close friends, so as you can imagine, we have observed each other change
(and age) over the last 10 years. Our
oldest member is currently 52 – which may not seem remarkable in some parts of
the world, but in Kenya it certainly is.
An interesting albeit inept advocacy gay
rights advocacy messaging we have used in the past is “we are not interested in
marriages.” While I recall being a strong advocate of this advocacy strategy I now
cringe when I hear its echo in different forums. Our reasoning at the time was
that people would be less opposed to our advocacy, if we dressed it in terms of
“requesting for services, especially health services.”
But the fact is relationships are
important. And with every year that passes, I feel this need more and more. While it’s not a “do or die” kind of need, the
need for relationships does seem to fit within a broader goal of pursuit for happiness
and sense of fulfillment in life.
Someone wrote “relationships are not
peripheral to a successful life.” I do not know whether this statement has any
truth, but one thing is clear to me today; a good and healthy relationship
would be a beautiful thing to have.
